[Le-Renard-Rouge]

Нашла на тумблере краткий пересказ мюзикла "Элизабет". Браво автору, это гениально

The core relationships in Elisabeth

Elisabeth: Dark Prince, I am so into you!
Death: ... allrighty! Get in there! I'll keep an eye on this one.
Franz Josef: I'm sick of mum telling me what to do and which cousin to marry,
Elisabeth: HI! I'm your totally inappropriate little cousin who hasn't been prepared for any aspect of royal life and wants to be in the circus.
Franz Josef: THAT ONE! I I WANT THAT ONE!
Elisabeth: Yay for marrying my cousin! This can't go wrong at all.
Death: BABES! You might be hitched to soldier boy, but I'LL BE WAITING.
Franz Josef: Something wrong? I mean, apart from the whole court thinking you're useless and my mother bullying you and taking our kids into her custody to train them?
Elisabeth: YOU THINK?
Franz Josef: Oh, sweetie, mummy knows best. After all, she made my father abdicate so she could rule. I mean, so I could rule.
Elisabeth: YOU KNOW WHAT? SCREW HER. I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT EMPRESS STANDING UP FOR THE PEOPLE OF HUNGARY!
Death: BABES! I TOTALLY GOT YOU A DEAD BABY!
Elisabeth: wtf is wrong with you, you asshole? I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH PEOPLE!
Franz Josef: Sisi, open the door! I want to put my ship in your harbour! (no, this is an actual lyric)
Elisabeth: GTFO! You love your mother more than you love me!
Death: BABES, I LOVE YOU MORE! Just end your life and I'll give you freedom.
Elisabeth: MEN!
Death: ...
Franz Josef: I listened to what you said, sweetie, and I've decided that I want to sex you more than I want mum to lecture me.
Elisabeth: You can want, buster.
Death: HA! Sucks to be you!
Elisabeth: That goes for you too, mate.
Death: Bugger.
Elisabeth: Look. I'm Queen, mate. Basically, I rule.
Death: Nuh uh.
Elisabeth: Yuh huh.
Death: Nuh uh.
Elisabeth: Yuh huh.
Death: Nuh... okay, babes, let me put it another way...
Rudolf: Mama doesn't love me.
Death: Hey Son of Babes. How goes? I'll be your best friend!
Rudolf: YOU WILL TAKE THE BEST CARE OF ME, I JUST KNOW IT.
Death: Too right I will.
Elisabeth: To hell with you all, I'm going traveling.
Franz Josef: Sisi, come home. I miss your fine, fine eyes.
Sophie: This won't do. My son needs a diversion! Quick! To the whorehouse!
Elisabeth: Whoa. Gymnastics doesn't usually tire me out so much.
Death: (in disguise) That's because you haven't done it with an STD from your husband before.
Elisabeth: ... god, I wish I were dead.
Death: BABES!!!
Elisabeth: JEBUS ON A CUPCAKE GO AWAY!
Death: ... crap.
Franz Josef: So mum's dead and now my son's being a liberal political twunt.
Death: Heeeeeeeeeeeeey, Rudolf. Look. These guys want to be your friends.
Revolutionaries: 'Sup.
Rudolf: YAY! PEOPLE WHO WILL FOLLOW ME!
Death: Teehee
Franz Josef: YOU ARE A DISGRACE.
Rudolf: MOMMY!
Elisabeth: I'm sorry, and you are?
Rudolf: ...
Death: Here's a nice gun, kiddo. Do the manly thing.
Rudolf: *suicides*
Elisabeth: ...my life is over...
Death: Babes, you're not so hot when you're whimpering and covered in snot and begging for it. Laters.
Elisabeth: ...this sucks.
Franz Josef: Oh, you're just getting that memo? Sisi, I love you.
Elisabeth: You want ship analogies? We're ships that pass in the night, okay? (again, actual lyrics)
Death: I'm just chilling, taking down the Habsburgs, and having a gay old time of it. Cousin? Got him. Sister? Got her. Uncle? Got him. It's like Pokemon with Habsburgs. Gotta catch 'em all.
Lucheni: Anything I can do, boss?
Death: now that you mention it, here's a knife and that's the girl I fancy.
Lucheni: STABBITY!
Elisabeth: You know what, it's time.
Death: You're with me now, babes!
Elisabeth: Yes. Because I chose to be.
THE END

Франц: Сиси, открой дверь! Я хочу поместить свой корабль в твою гавань!
Элизабет: ПОШЁЛ ОТСЮДА! Ты любишь свою мать больше, чем меня!
Смерть: ДЕТКИ, Я ЛЮБЛЮ ВАС БОЛЬШЕ!